What I think about on any given day

(In percentages)

65% food (what I can eat to satisfy my sweet tooth, what I will eat for the next meal, tacos, carbs, cheese, tacos, and mostly carbs)

10% What the fuck. Things that make provoke the internal dialogue, “What the fuck?” Like that guy who murdered another guy on the bus in Canada and decapitated him and ate his cheek or something like that. WHAT THE FUCK. General what-the-fuckery. Have you read the news lately? It’s FULL of WHAT THE FUCK.

10% Ennui. Always. I have perpetual wanderlust of the person.

5% Slugs and the slug blog I will one day create.

5% Pugs and how glorious it feels to rub my skin on their face whiskers.

2% If I can pull myself together for a few hours so I can get on a plane and go on vacation to a faraway place.

1% How much I can possibly sleep in a day before I won’t be able to sleep that night. Like, what is the maximum quantity of nap I can have before I fuck my sleep schedule going forward?

1% Jesus H. what was that weird sensation in my stomach? Is it a parasite? I wonder if I’ve ever had a parasite. I wonder if I’d ever be cool with the realization I have a parasite. I think I’d lose it if I had a botfly. Forget that.

1% Sex and mostly how lazy I can possibly be to get the job done. Sex is no longer thrilling once you’ve removed all of your favorite vices from your life. Approaching a sexual situation makes me feel like a slug these days. Hence my excitement for a slug blog! We’ve come full circle, folks.


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