Cha cha changes

Change is a loaded term, up for many interpretations. Sometimes scorned, sometimes welcomed, change is seen when looking extremely close or it manifests in a way that is impossible to ignore. Change can be situational or brought on by our own, direct actions. I think about change this week because I am in the throes of feeling stuck.

The past few years I was focused on switching careers and becoming a nurse. I reached that point and I’ve passed my first year of nursing practice. Looking back, this has been the most stressful, overwhelming, and confusing time in my life. I feel like I am in a rut and not only that, the walls are closing in and I have to get out. The problem is, what does out mean for me? Is it a small change I need to provide new perspective? Do I need a complete overhaul of my life circumstances?

It’s difficult to decide. Every decision analyzed in my head has a set of negatives attached to it, ways it could be the ‘wrong’ decision. Ultimately, a decision to change has to be made based on faith. I cannot predict the outcome before it happens and each decision has a potential for improvement or deterioration of circumstances. It’s a risk to change and this is what prevents many of us from acting. However, it’s a risk to remain in the same place, mentally, emotionally, or physically. It carries the same weight of potential outcomes if we do not act, generally with less potential for improvement.

I know I need to change, at least a few things in my life. It’s just a matter of reaching deep inside and finding the will to do so.